Archive for May 2015

General Election 2015

And so the race is run. The dullest election campaign in (my) memory has finally drawn to an end and now the polling stations have opened. The public, those that haven’t died of boredom that is, will now proceed to turn out in their droves (about 6 in 10 or so anyway) at the local school, church or other selected venue over the course of next 15 hours in order to select their preferred lizard. Meanwhile the party leaders will show up at their polling stations at some pre-arranged time so that they can have their picture taken with their partner whilst they cast their ballot before retiring home to chew their finger nails and hope and pray that they have convinced enough people that their party is the right option.

I, for the first time since 1997, will not be bothering. Not bothering to such an extent that this time around I’m not even on the electoral register. Sadly for the local candidates this means that they will be deprived of the opportunity to scan quickly over anything unpleasant I might otherwise have said about them come the count.

If this vacuous election campaign has proved one thing, it is that fixed term parliaments might sound good on paper but are, in reality, a damn stupid idea and should be dispensed with ASAP. Better a short, sharp campaign than one which goes on for 5 years.

THe only thing left to find out is how close the opinion pollsters are to reality – and that is why I intend to spend this evening in a pub giving my liver and kidneys a thorough workout. Perhaps by this time tomorrow I will have a better idea of how extra lube I’m going to need for the next 5 years in order to cope with the depredations the next government inflicts on me.