Archive for the ‘Asides’ Category.

Rugby WC2015

2015 Rugby Union World Cup draw

Group A looks like it’ll be interesting as England, Wales and Australia slug it out but SA and NZ should easily top their groups and it’ll probably be France and Ireland from Group D – although I wouldn’t want to put money on which side will finish top.

Musical Interlude: IoW Festival 2013 (Sunday)

I’m down at the Isle of Wight Festival (I’m not camping though) so I thought I’d post videos from some of the acts I see each day.

Steve Harley and Cockney Rebel – “Here Comes the Sun”:

Newton Faulkner – “Dream Catch Me”:

Boomtown Rats – “I Don’t Like Mondays”:

Paloma Faith – “Just Be”:

The Script – “Hall of Fame”:

Bon Jovi – “Always”:

Blondie – “Heart of Glass”:

Musical Interlude: IoW Festival 2013 (Saturday)

I’m down at the Isle of Wight Festival (I’m not camping though) so I thought I’d post videos from some of the acts I see each day.

Laura Mvula – “That’s Alright”:

Bonnie Raitt – “I Can’t Make You Love Me”:

Billie Arnold – “Valerie” (Cover):

Ben Howard – “Esmerelda”:

The Maccabees – “About Your Dress”:

Bloc Party – “One More Chance”:

The Killers – “Miss Atomic Bomb”:

Musical Interlude: IoW Festival 2013 (Friday)

I’m down at the Isle of Wight Festival (I’m not camping though) so I thought I’d post videos from some of the acts I see each day.

First up, it’s T’Pau with “Heart and Soul” (although I considered “China in Your Hand”):

The Levellers – “Another Man’s Cause”:

Jake Bugg – “Country Song”:

Fun. – “Some Nights”:

Paul Weller – “A Town Called Malice” (yes, I know that it’s actually from The Jam but the crowd didn’t get going until he wheeled out the old stuff):

I’d finish with something from The Stone Roses but, quite frankly, they were so damn boring I’m not going to inflict them on anyone else.

Comment Loonytunes

Whilst clearing out the spam folder today I came across this piece of utter nuttiness:

News from American Patriot Group: Sandy Hook school disobey the terrorist organization Bilderberg Group by not house training the little children to worship Satan. The Bilderberg Group also known as the illuminati sent a kill squad over to execute all those little children in school to make an example out of them. The message was: You must house train your little children, little niece, little nephews in America to worship the Devil in school or they all must die.

Less tinfoil hat, more full on Faraday cage.

About the world-renowned author Dan Brown…

As I have mentioned before, I have never tortured my eyeballs by subjecting them to a Dan Brown novel. This was a personal choice and Geoffrey K. Pullum’s The Dan Brown Code simply further entrenched my desire never to do so.

However it is because of Pullum’s piece that I am able to appreciate Michael Deacon’s excellent skewering of Brown in the Telegraph on Friday:

The critics said his writing was clumsy, ungrammatical, repetitive and repetitive. They said it was full of unnecessary tautology. They said his prose was swamped in a sea of mixed metaphors. For some reason they found something funny in sentences such as “His eyes went white, like a shark about to attack.” They even say my books are packed with banal and superfluous description, thought the 5ft 9in man. He particularly hated it when they said his imagery was nonsensical. It made his insect eyes flash like a rocket.

If you haven’t already, do please go and read the whole thing. If, like me, you have chosen to avoid Brown’s oeuvre then read Pullum first.

Eeny meeny miny moe

Following on from the launch of Inspiration Mars, billionaire Dennis Tito’s project to send a middle-aged couple on a non-stop a return trip to Mars, I had to wonder who my readership would want to send (involuntarily) on this trip.

Tony and Cherie Blair?
Ed Balls and Yvette Cooper?
Chris Hunhe and Vicky Pryce?
Neil and Christine Hamilton?
John Major and Edwina Currie
David and Victoria Beckham?

Or are these all people we’d like to send on a one-way trip?

The comments section is open for further suggestions…

Calling a spade a spade

It seems that someone at The Telegraph has the same opinion of Kier Starmer and his authoritarian ways as I do. I wonder if he’ll claim to be grossly offended by this?

The original image is in use on this article and (at least until they take it rename it) can be found here.

h/t @iamDarragh

Princely Mistakes

Making the mistake of clicking on a link which Guido was pimping on twitter this morning, my eye was drawn not to the small out-of-focus picture of someone who might or might not have been Prince Harry but to the vanity URL being used for the post:

William or Harry?

Has Guido been outsourcing his sub-editing to a company well known for getting members of the family mixed-up or, given the time at which it was posted (0233hrs), was it done quickly by Harry from a late-night drinking establishment?

Enquiring minds etc etc..

Criminal Stupidity

Dumb criminals are, well, dumb. Heck, there is even a website devoted to exposing ther stupidity to the world.

Meet Martin Peckham… the latest addition to the pantheon of stupidity. Aged 41, he is supposedly a dental technican when he isn’t being an idiot. And, oh boy, is he an idiot.

Martin apparently needed some money to pay for a house and his wedding (although why anyone would wish to marry such a fool is beyond me) but was a little strapped for cash. So he did what any normal person in such a situation would do and he lowered his sights a bit.

No, silly me, this is the age of ‘must have’ so he took out a loan.

Whoops, no he didn’t do that either. No, Martin, being the intellegensia that he is copied the actions of two other (allegedly*) dumb criminals and decided that the best way to raise the readies was to blackmail Bernie Ecclestone. As you do.

Demanding a sum of £200,000 he claimed, during phone calls to Ecclestone, that kidnappers were planning to abduct his daughter, Tamara.

Truely a first class criminal mind.

Three things:

  1. If you are going to blackmail a man worth over £2bn, why would you go for a measly £200k? I’d have thought £2m at least.
  2. Even as someone who doesn’t follow F1 or the gossip columns, I know that Tamara Ecclestone is a bit of a socialite. Common sense therefore says that she is probably followed by paparazzi 24/7 and thus any kidnap attempt would likely to be a non-starter. Instead why not mention family members whose movements aren’t tracked all day, every day?
  3. Demanding money for handing over details of a crime makes you look like more of a scumbag than the supposed criminals you are intending to shop.

Martin Peckham, you are a prat and you deserve everything you get.

* They are facing trial in February so any comments on their case will be censored.