Posts tagged ‘Jacqui Smith’

Wacky Jacqui is still singing from the same hymn sheet

It is with great sadness that I have to report that the incompetent and dictatorial former Home Secretary ‘Jackboot’ Jacqui has once again managed to get herself noticed.

Yes, this depresses me dear reader probably as much as it does you.

On Thursday last our darling Jacqui appeared in front of the Parliamentary Public Inquiry into Online Child Protection. This inquiry is the bastard off spring of Claire Perry, last seen haunting these pages back in February when I wrote about the stupidity of internet censorship.

The inquiry was launched on August 24th this year and would, I’m sure, have made front page headlines in the MSM if it weren’t for the continuing economic malaise, the dethronement of Gaddafi and the resignation of Steve Jobs.

Still, for those who are interested, Perry helpfully puts the entire press release on her own website and includes an obligatory “won’t someone think of the children” quote:

Parents are understandably worried about the ease with which their children can view pornographic content on the Internet and this Inquiry will provide the ideal platform for all interested parties to discuss how best we can protect our children online.

To which the answer is still to put the computer in a family room and install parental controls. By the time they are using a smart phone with ‘net access and have got around your controls they will have either figured out or been told that tab A goes into slot B (as well as slots C and D), probably know more than you and shouldn’t care if they sometimes come across pornography. All the government intervention in the word won’t stop that so why bother? (Yes, that is a rhetorical question, Ed.)

Anyway, I’ve digressed. Easy enough to do given how much stupidity on is on display here.

The inquiry is taking evidence in two sessions, the first of which was on September 8th, and featured amongst its witnesses the aforementioned Mrs Timney.

In her evidence (MSM only, can’t find the official record) she suggested making it harder to access online pornography in the UK:

She proposed that if all adult content were only accessible to customers who specifically opted in to it through their internet service providers, then the adult industry might see its profits improved. Online porn has suffered economically in the wake of free YouTube-style sites.

Well I can spot two things wrong with that idea immediately:

  1. As a responsible adult it isn’t up to anyone else to decide what I choose to view online; and
  2. Whilst profits made by business concern you in so far as how much you can tax them (I’m ignoring the arguments on who actually pays the tax here, Tim!) regulating to try and save and industry that apparently needs to evolve in order to solve its piracy issues is a bloody stupid idea!

After giving evidence (if offering suggestions isn’t twisting the word too much) she said that a quid pro quo for government help (i.e. the stick) would be that the industry could help fund sex education programs.

Do we really need more sex ed programs? Or are you trying to suggest that the current ones are under-funded? I seem to recall being taught the birds and the bees at school once a year every year from 10 to 14. And my parents also made sure I knew about it. Given that the previous government certainly considered, if not actually implemented, the idea of teaching kids this from an ever younger age I’m not sure there is a child in the country who doesn’t know about what can go on between consenting individuals.

What purpose would more lessons have? Are they do take the shape of a teacher/adult telling the pupils ‘pornography is bad, yeah?’ because I’m fairly certain that that approach has never worked. Ever. Not for drugs, not for smokes, not for booze and not for sex.

So why bother with more of the same?

‘Jackboot’ Jacqui rides again

Before I get into this post I must apologise to those amongst my readers of a sensitive disposition who, on discovering that our unlamented former Home Secretary Jacqui ‘Jackboot’ Smith is still alive and kicking, may have been put off, or indeed lost, their breakfast. Believe me when I say I’m as surprised as anyone to discover that no-one has yet driven a stake through what may pass for her heart.

Jacqui has, it appears, spent all of her golden goodbye she got when the people of Redditch finally kicked her from the taxpayer teat in May 2010 and has had to find another way to earn some money.

She now, together with her husband, the self-pleasurer Richard Timney, runs Boost Associates (google it if you really, really want to) – a consultancy firm which aims to use the connections Ms. Smith acquired during her previous un-gainful employment to assist those with enough wonga to pay for her services.

Along with the frankly obvious offerings which it seems that all political consultancy firms seek to provide, e.g.

  • training and consultancy on the policy and political environment
  • advice to help you get your message across and your voice heard
  • specialist support with fundraising
  • lectures, speeches and event presenting

she will be offering confidential one-to-one mentoring “to people making tough decisions in business and public life. Helping them improve their confidence, performance and results.”

It is not known whether these sessions include advice on how to avoid your claim for you husband’s pornography viewing appearing on your expenses form or how to obtain over £116,000 from the taxpayer simply by living under your sister’s roof